Strength

i surrender all

I have this fear deep inside. I go to it and I shake it. I shake it until it is broken. It is still there, the fear. But it does not have the strength to control me.

I have this hurt deep inside. I go to it and feel it it. I wait in the pain until it is tired. I wait one night, two nights, or two years. The pain is not so heavy. But it does not have the strength to control me.

I have this loneliness deep inside. I go to it and feel it. I seek all kinds of friends and run from their comfort because their friendship does not feel safe. I hear a word of hope from one trustworthy friend to get me through the day. I still feel loneliness, but it does not have the strength to control me.

I have this emptiness inside, this longing for something in the unknown. I go to it and fill it with more emptiness and nothing under the sun redeems me. I let it consume me so I can breakdown to surrender to all. I do not feel empty or longing. I have traded my sorrows, my shame and my pain. I have laid them down and I surrender all.